Can travelling with your partner save your relationship?
Generally speaking, when you have more time with your partner, with less stress and more adventure you tend to feel more excited and connected. The best indicator for a long lasting relationship and for that matter, regular sex in a relationship, is positive connection. Holidays are a great way to boost the connection with your partner.
Why is it easier to connect emotionally and sexually to your partner on holidays?
- Less stress: There’s no secret that high levels of stress can lead to emotional disconnection and reduced libido. We all underestimate how stressful our daily routine can be let alone adding the extra stress of finances, work, relationships and family. These daily energy sappers mean that we have less time and energy to invest in our relationship. It also means that there is more opportunity for conflict cycles. When you are on holiday it is easier to mentally remove yourself from the stress and be more present because you have taken yourself out of your regular environment. Put more simply, out of sight out of mind which leaves more room for you to be present with your partner.
- Partner investment: Holidays can be a great way to take time out, focus on partner connection and be more present from the usual distractions of life. This means that we are taking each other’s wants, needs and desires into consideration when making decisions. There are also more opportunities to show care and act as a team as you navigate uncharted territory. It feels nice to have the reminder that you and your partner are a team.
- More fun and growth; Going on holidays is great. You often learn new things about yourself and the world, it can be fun and exciting. When you learn new things with your partner your inner world expands mutually and it actually leads to a better bond connection. In our My Love Your Love app we try to implement this on a regular basis with random ‘Love Generating Challenges’. But there is no doubt that travelling together can be a huge dose of good relationship tonic. Couples who adventure together stay together and couples who report a good connection also have more regular sex.
Do couples get more adventurous while on holidays?
There is something special about shedding part of our responsibilities, inhibitions and our identity when on holidays. Without realising, our sense of who we are is often shaped by social norms, family expectations and our perceived judgement from others. When we are overseas on holidays, even as a couple we feel more unencumbered and free to express ourselves and try new things without fear of judgement. This is likely why many people can relate to feeling more adventurous when overseas on holidays. When couples share the adventurous spirit they tend to bond more, they feel they are growing as a team and this fuels more chemistry.
Is going on holidays just a relationship bandaid?:
As couple therapists we often hear that relationships improve on holidays. For some people this can be a great turning point and a reminder that there is the potential for a great relationship if the investment is put in. However, for others the relationship can return to its pre-holiday state shortly after returning. Here is why: on holidays there is far less stress and problems to deal with which means there is less conflict. On return from holidays the same conflict cycles re-emerge. In this case we highly recommend couples seek couples therapy. Alternatively, the My Love Your Love couples app is a great alternative as its combined cost for both partners over a year is less then one therapy session and it offers the convenience of relationship coaching and other fun and exciting challenges at a time that suits you and your partner.
Written by Shahn B Sorekli